Hello Ghoulie Fuck-os! Love Halloween decorations, but hate the capitalist end of the world nightmare we’re currently living in and the impending doom you feel due to inaction regarding climate change?
You know what that means?! Its DIY time! Thats right! Here comes an eco-friendly, up-cycled, existential dread reprieve of an autumnal craft.
Supplies You’ll Need:
Cup with water
Clear wine bottle
Access to a stove/toaster oven
Find a bottle you want to use. If there’s alcohol in it, go get shit-faced and come back tomorrow. We are going to be dealing with hellfire baby!
Once your bottle is empty, rinse it out and place it into a pot of boiling water on the stove. This will make removing the labels a breeze. You can also peel them off by hand and scrub the bottle if you don’t have a stove. Just plan for it to take longer.
Note: If you don’t have an oven or toaster oven, skip the next section. These steps make the marbles sparkly and isn’t necessarily needed.
Preheat your oven of choice to 400 F or 205 C. Place your marbles on the pan and heat them in the oven for 20 minutes. I promise you it’s safe and you will definitely not summon a demon pretending to be an early 20th century child. Probably.
When your marbles are done in the oven, get out your bowl and fill it with ice water. Put on your oven mitt and dump those little bitches into that cold water. Due to science, they will crack, but hold their shape give or take a few marbles.
The Potion Bottle
Then, put a fuck ton of marbles in your bottle aka “Siren Eggs” and fill the rest of the bottle with water. Add some red and yellow food dye to your pleasure.
Now take your cup and fill it with water. Drop some blue food coloring in to dilute it. Carefully pour some of this blue water into your bottle. This will darken the color and make it creepy looking, blue can darken your colors fast, that’s why we dilute it and add little by little.
Next, rip a brown paper bag into a label sized piece. Set out a bowl of water and locate a fire source (a match or a gas stovetop) and singe the edges of the paper by holding it with a pair of tongs or tweezers.
Dip the paper into the water when it’s singed enough or if the flame is getting out of control.
When the label is finished and dry write Pickled Siren Eggs on it or whatever you want. You can paste this on the bottle or wrap some hemp or whatever string you have around the bottle and poke a hole through the label with the pen.
Lastly, add any other flourishes that fit your fancy.
You’re the bad witch in charge
Now you’ve got some cool ass shit for your Halloween decor. Or if it’s Thanksgiving time you can label it “Pickled Privilege” and see which family members aren’t up their own asses.
Now you can rub your diy craft in the faces of all your friends online.
Whatever you do, enjoy!